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11/4

 I never feel like I have time for updates anymore.

I met with my superintendent, and I shared with her what is going on with my fertility journey. She was very understanding about the appointments and how I won't have much heads up which made me feel so much better about everything.

Then, I had a meeting with the place that does the PGT-A testing. I knew most of what she was saying, but I did ask if the genetic issue our last loss had would be caught with the testing. She explained it wouldn't, but it is somehow harder to catch with female embryos (I don't totally understand the science.) So, she said if we had euploid female embryos, my RE would likely recommend further genetic testing to ensure they were chromosomally normal. That did stress me a bit, but it sounds like something my RE would already know and consider.

After that, I had my ultrasound, where it turned out that it didn't appear that my body had ovulated yet. I was frustrated because that meant I had to take off work Monday morning to go in again, since the office was closed for the weekend when I got the results. I worried for a bit that something was wrong, but then I remembered I had gotten pregnant using the ovulation tests 3 times, so it was likely just too early. My next ultrasound Monday confirmed that, and I was given the go ahead to start priming. 

I did get all my medications delivered which was kind of scary. But basically I started estrogen patches (one every other day) on day 21 of my cycle, and took Ganirelix injections on day 22-24 of my cycle. 

I was really stressed about the injections, and my husband was supposed to be out of town when I had to do them. But it ended up his trip was cancelled, so he was home to do them all. They were not too bad, and we were able to do it without any issues. 

Now, I'm waiting for my period to start so I can go in for another ultrasound and bloodwork, and hopefully start the stimulation. 

One new thing was I set up a playdate with a friend I met through another friend who went through IVF. We chatted, and I loved spending time with her and her daughter. I am hoping we can stay in touch. 

My biggest issue today is how I am approaching the one year anniversary of my first loss, and how much this past year has truly sucked. I need to write down a positives and negatives of the year just to process it. I also talked to my therapist about feeling cursed from having a girl, and I'm not sure I can let go of that feeling quite yet. 

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