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11/25

 Well it's been 3 weeks since my last update. And boy has a lot happened, and yet I feel like I'm still in the same exact spot. 

Starting where I left off, I got my period on 11/6, and went in for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork the next day. My baseline follicle count was 11. I was approved to start my stimulation injections that evening. It was stressful, because I was supposed to be taking an oral medication Clomid as well, and it wasn't sent in the specialized pharmacy order. I had to call the after hours nurse and get it sent to my pharmacy and thankfully they had it in stock. Things like that just really stress me out.

The first night doing the injections it took my husband and I a while to figure everything out. Mostly, him. He had to set up the Follistim pen, mix to Menopur, and inject everything correctly. The Menopur did burn which I had heard it would, and I did bleed a little at the injection site. Otherwise, it was okay. 

We did those injections for the weekend, and I went in for another ultrasound and bloodwork 11/10. I continued the same plan with the injections, and work actually was fine - I came in a little late each time for the appointments and it was all good besides my micromanaging principal.

I went in again 11/12, and they decided to decrease my Menopur and increase my Follistim. From what I can tell, my body was a little slow to respond to the meds, so they increased them a bit. I also finished the Clomid. I didn't notice any side effects at this point either, which kind of made me nervous, like maybe I should be feeling something?

I continued stressing about refills, especially since I have to order through a specialty pharmacy. The nursing staff wasn't as accommodating as I hoped with my questions, but the ultrasound techs were actually very helpful in giving me notice on when my next appointment would be and what to expect as far as meds. 

I had another appointment 11/14, and I increased my Follistim again. I also added Ganirelix at this point, which was what I took before in the last injection period too. Having 3 injections in a night was a lot, and I started to run out of spots without marks and blood. 

I went in again the next day, and I increased my Follistim again while continuing the other injections. Then, I went in again on 11/17 and continued everything. Same story on 11/19. I went in again on 11/20, and the nurse told me not to make a follow up appointment before leaving like I had been because I might be ready for the trigger and retrieval. 

I waited anxiously and didn't hear anything until after 4:00 PM! But, they told me that I was approved for the retrieval, and would do my trigger shot at 11:30 PM (that day was a Thursday) and my retrieval would be Saturday at 11:30 AM. 

Again things were stressful - they caught on Friday that my husband didn't have a proper lab done at his regular doctor and they missed it, so he had to go in for bloodwork the day before the retrieval. In addition, he had to get a cup to provide his sperm sample for the retrieval fertilization process. Thankfully my parents were available to watch our son for the day during the retrieval. 

On the day of the retrieval, I couldn't eat or drink anything due to the anesthesia. I dropped off my son at my parents and tried to relax. The process was quick - I didn't wait at all, they took me right back and my husband had to wait outside the facility so he went and got lunch. They hooked up my IV, took my vitals, and brought me back to the room. I was in a position like I was having a baby, and the nurses were all nice. Someone from the lab came back to explain my plan and to be honest her English wasn't great so I didn't understand it, but I know our plan from all the paperwork we signed before. 

I was put to sleep quickly and woke up quickly, ate some crackers. Before I left, I was told they had gotten 10 eggs. I felt good about that since I was expecting less. 

The next day my husband was working and my parents were being annoying so I took my son out for breakfast. During breakfast, I found out that 7 of the eggs were mature and 3 were fertilized, and 2 were being monitored further. 

Since then, I have felt so sad and disappointed. I'm angry my doctor didn't recommend more supplements to increase my egg quality. I'm sad that my odds are so low. I'm convinced I won't get any euploids, maybe even no embryos at all. I won't find out until maybe the Saturday after Thanksgiving how many will be sent for PGT-A testing. 

I cried myself to sleep last night because it's never me with good news. It's been almost a year since our first loss and I'm not in any better of a position. We've had 2 more losses, and a not so great IVF cycle. We've been trying almost 2 years for a baby. This is truly awful, I'm a horror story. I don't even want to associate with friends right now because I don't even know what to tell them. 

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