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9/26

 Well, this week I think we completed all of our testing, and now we wait for all of the results, and for our consult in a week.

On Tuesday, I was supposed to have a saline ultrasound. However, I got there and found out the doctor changed her mind and I only needed a 3D ultrasound of my uterus. I also had some bloodwork done as well.

I did have a bit of a panic attack to be honest. I logged in to my RE portal later, and saw my blood test results from last week. My AMH had gone down from 0.996 to 0.5. I truly couldn't catch my breath and felt like something was sitting on my chest. From my googling, it seems like AMH is only a little piece of the picture, but my FSH is also high, which ChatGPT told me is a sign of diminished ovarian reserve. I have so many questions but it is so hard to keep track of them.

Does this mean anything for my general health? Is my fertile window ending?

Do I have no good eggs left? Will I not even be able to be a candidate for IVF? I'm honestly so worried.

My husband got his semen analysis back and his looked great - so it's good to have some positive news. But I did just send a message asking if we now need to consider the sperm dna fragmentation to see if there are any other issues there.

Finally, Thursday I had my hysteroscopy and biopsy. I would say it was similar to a pap smear but worse. It lasted about 5-10 minutes. The crank to open your cervix area sucks, and then I was numbed with lidocaine with an injection on both sides. The biopsy part wasn't bad, I don't think I felt much, but as the camera moved through my uterus I felt a lot of cramping. It was definitely uncomfortable. My doctor did say my uterus looked great and she didn't see any issues with it, and the biopsy should come back in a week or so. 

Now I guess I just worry that we will need to wait longer to do more testing, like waiting for the sperm dna fragmentation, the results of the biopsy, etc. I still have a blood test I am waiting on the result of too. 

I guess for therapy my thing lately is I am so sick of feeling this way. Is this just the rest of my life, always being anxious and sad? I don't think I will be over this until I have another baby. 

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