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Pregnancy #4: 7w6d

 The feeling I have been having recently is anxiety. My therapist and I talked about avoiding Googling and online stuff and I do think that helps. While the subreddits I browse can be helpful, right now they just send me spiraling a lot of the time and it's not helpful when I'm trying to stay positive. 

I felt nervous the last couple days especially. I had friends over last night and we just hung out outside, having pizza and chatting. I came inside and realized I had a few mosquito bites. I immediately thought about West Nile, and worried about what might happen. I told my husband, and he reassured me that I was fine, but I did end up calling the nurses this morning. Their response was very much "You are fine, do not worry another minute." 

My other issue is that I don't have a lot of noticeable symptoms. With my previous pregnancies, I definitely had noticeable nausea. I haven't had that at all. I know sometimes that with a toddler, I might just be so busy or distracted that I am not noticing things as much. I have never been one to symptom hunt, questioning every cramp or whatever, but it does feel weird to have not much. 

I have noticed some breast tenderness, some aching in my pelvic area, and some diarrhea. But nothing super out of the ordinary. My next appointment isn't until Monday, so less than 3 days now if you're counting by hours. I'm really hoping for the best news, and for this to continue. I try to rub my stomach and talk to baby everyday. I think about them a lot, and how it will change our family in the best ways. I just wish I could fast forward a bit, but my therapist also talked about how I'll want to look back and think that I enjoyed this. I do want to enjoy it, I liked being pregnant before. But I just want to feel safe, which I don't. 

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