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Pregnancy #4: 5w4d

 This morning started with a phone call from the OB's office after I dropped my son off at daycare. They asked if anyone had called last night to explain my results and I replied that no one did.

The nurse apologized (the nurses at my OB office are angels) and explained that there was no cardiac activity, but there was a sac which could be normal for my stage of pregnancy. As a result, she would talk to the OB to determine next steps.

The OB sent me a message saying that she wanted to see me come in earlier than my planned ultrasound, at about 7 weeks to do another ultrasound, where they would expect to see a heartbeat. 

Later, the nurse called to schedule that appointment. Of course, I would be 7 weeks on a Saturday, but she said she would look into getting me in that day and get back to me. Eventually, she called back and we found a time on the following Monday where my husband would be available to come with me. I really wanted him there if possible because the last 3 ultrasounds I've had have resulted in no heartbeat, and I was alone for them. 

I called my RE to update her on the whole situation, and they told me to let them know what happens.

I wasn't sure if I would be up for a girls' nights my neighborhood moms had planned tonight, but I'm glad I went. It was nice to get my mind off of it a little bit, and I even liked holding my friend's baby who would be the same age as my own baby right now that passed in December. 

I'm not sure why that doesn't bother me, but seeing the baby and holding her isn't painful. It's a clear reminder, but doesn't make me sad. 

I have therapy tomorrow, which I am glad about. I have a lot to discuss. 

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